Plans to Escape Depression
This document was created for those suffering from depression right now. They are in need of and/or seeking solutions and emergency fixes, and are here for ideas to reduce, abate, lessen, eliminate, and generally escape the state of depression. For an indication of what the severity of your depression is, please see the Depression Severity by Symptoms Color Index.
The Plans are listed by level of most important first, then most useful or interesting, then the most extreme. Execute Plans A through D now, and try Plans E (Exercise, Walk) to O (Only Positive Thinking). If nothing else works, move on to the more powerful (Plan P: Purge! -- Let It Out!) onto the most extreme (Plan X: Suicide Rite, Plan Z: Call 911 Emergency or the Suicide Support Hotline at 1-800-273-TALK or 1-800-273-8255).
Plan Alpha: Relax. Calm down. Relax. You are breathing okay? Breathe in and out, nice and slow. Let's get a handle on the anxiety if there is any. Breath slowly and deliberately to ten, in and out, real nice-like.
There are many methods herein with which to relax, so make this a priority for following the depression guide. Make sure you have some concentration and clarity to follow it correctly, so chill down, take a chill pill or a toke. Maybe think about having a wine or spirit (Plan W). You taking your pills? You'd better be! This is going to be your Plan A, and refusing or missing pills is an obvious depression cause. Have some water (Plan B, Part 2), maybe some food (Plan B, Part 1) (lack of food causes depression, so if you haven't eaten for three or more hours, eat). Get comfortable, and spend some time checking out and executing the various escape methods.
Plan Beta: What works? Do it now! Plan Beta is your own personal plan of offense or defense against depression. If you don't have one yet, choose one or more plans from the depression escape guide. I've compiled the guide as a kind of a quick and memorable alphabetic list to help you find a good escape method.
Have you read this guide before? Find what works -- remember that as your own personal plan, which we'll call Plan Beta. Do it immediately after relaxing (Plan Alpha), and realizing there are things you are able to do to alleviate the blues, browns and blacks. Do it now -- now is the time to execute Plan Beta.
Plan A: Medication. Take more of your antidepressants if possible. Up your dose temporarily as an emergency measure. Take something to calm you down like Ativan, Valium, or Xanax or a natural substance like Melatonin. Try the known natural anti-depressants like SamE, St. Johns Wart, and Vitamin B (click to see a recommended list). Get onto antidepressants if you haven't already! There are good treatment regiments out there and you need to get onto one if you've been down for over two months in a row or considering suicide (suicide is a hallmark symptom of very deep depression). Pot (aka weed, bud, Cannabis) is a known medicine for depression, and is become more legally available as the U.S. wakes up to its legitimate uses [in the international scheme, the U.S. is far behind in "legalizing it." In Canada, "medicinal marijuana" can be legally obtained through the mail].
A very reliable, honest, and complete guide to antidepressants and other medications is online at CrazyMeds.US. Try looking there to learn about antidepressants or just google it.
Do it now -- take your meds or up your meds, or start calling around to get onto the meds using either free clinics, free, low-cost, or county mental health facilities. Head to the vitamin shop or section of a local store and try a few.
If you have a psychiatrist or psychologist, give him or her a call if you feel the depression has gotten out of control or is particularly bad.
Plan B: Eat & Drink. Part 1: Nourish yourself. Have you eaten in the last three or four hours? If not -- do it! Not eating will worsen your depression. This is because the brain begins to lose its store and supply of well-needed seretonin, and this in itself can cause or worsen a depression. Also depleted are the essential amino acids (those the body cannot produce itself, and can only attain them from food sources which contain either the amino acid itself, or the vitamins, minerals and macro nutrients required to produce it), so the brain cannot function properly or optimally.
If you don't eat, your body will begin to slow down function in order to conserve calories. You may even enter starvation mode, which is essentially a lethargy and depression self-generated to slow you down further to conserve as much energy as possible. An ugly fact about starvation mode is your body will cannibalize your muscles first, instead of the fat, because muscle is protein which is essential to amino acid production. Also, muscle weigh seven times more more than fat and require more calories to feed and carry, so it is dropped first, saving the fat for yet leaner times.
So don't starve yourself into depression. Eat. Get the proteins, carbs, vitamins, minerals and fats (fats are essential to transporting minerals and vitamins to the cells, so don't cut back on fat TOO much -- you really do need it). Your body and brain need adequate food to function correctly!
Part 2: Hydrate yourself. Have a coffee, tea, sports drink, or juice. Coffee will give you a bit of a boost, especially if sugared. Perhaps you will find a tea that aids in relaxation and depression. Maybe your body needs a boost with a sports drink or juice, or protein shake. Drink water. Water is actually a pretty good cure for various ailments, simply because it helps toxins from the body. Make sure you are well hydrated to avoid unnecessary downs from simple thirst or dehydration. Try a strong coffee or an energy drink -- perhaps the pep will lessen your depression. The classic sign of dehydration is thirst. If you are thirsty, you are already dehydrated. You should never feel thirsty, and you should pee pretty clear (not yellow) if you are getting proper hydration.
Plan C (Cleansing): Water emersion. Take a shower, bath or dip. Just wet your face. You'll be cleaner, feel better about yourself and your appearance, and get a natural biochemical reaction to the water on your skin. Surfers are beach people are often mellow because of their constant exposure to ocean and sea water, which produces a beneficial reaction in our bodies. You really do and can feel better with a shower.
If possible, soak in a bath. Set yourself up with a nice atmosphere, perhaps with candles or even flowers. Lock yourself up for a little while for a nice, quiet, relaxing bath.
If you have access to a pool or spa, try a sit or swim. You might know a friend or neighbor with one who is willing to share, or go to a large gym or spa and pay their one-day fee (yes, you can go to a gym on a pay-per-day basis, which is usually $10 -- you don't need an annual plan with a gym if you want to go just a few times a month or year). Go to a neighborhood or public pool. Perhaps the pool in an apartment complex you know of (pretend you live there). If you live an ocean, lake, sea or other water body, head there.
Plan D (Defense): Activate your support system. Be with friends, loved ones, and/or positive family members (ditch and jerks, players, liars and fair-weather-friends). A person not affected by depression will help bring you back out of the cloud of darkness (the demon, depression) which tangles, limits, and finally deadens your emotions, causes your life to appear a bleak black, and generally renders you inoperable. Visit, reminisce, and talk it out. Call around and see who needs some company or could possibly even help cheer you up. At this juncture in your life, a second point of view may not only be necessary, but a critical matter of life or death. Call up an old friend, maybe just to chat, but also to visit and hang out for a while. Call your parents (if they are positive in your life, many depressives are such due to negative familial treatment, so ditch the bitchy moms, dads, and other family). Get together with good, reliable, supportive and compassionate friends and family. Tell them how you are feeling, what your concerns are, and what you should do. They might provide some excellent and well needed advice or reality check.
Plan E (Exercise): Walk and Move. Part 1: Walking. There are numerous benefits to a simple walk, but the most important is that it will help lift depression. A simple walk with get some blood pumping. Additionally, your lymphatic system works like a self-winding watch, and has no "pump" or "battery" of its own. Your toxins (lymph) will get a chance to pump and wash out. Also, as exercise is known to lift mood, this is one of the easiest and simplest to do and get yourself a little natural chemical boost. Even more, you might get some good ole' vitamin E from the sun (see also light therapy). Go outside, get you dressed up for the world and get in some neighborhood views. Just walk around the block, or adventure further and drive to a park. Drive to a spot where you would enjoy a walk, like the beach, hills, forest, or boulevard. Go for a walk.
Part 2: Movement. You needn't leave your house to move and get that lymph system and heart pumping the toxins out. You can follow a television or internet-based "in-place" workout. Stretch. Clean. Arrange or dust. Just move around. Move your arms around in big circles, do jumping jacks or squats. Do yoga or pilates or light weight lifting. Jump rope. Jump up and down. Dance, ballet or tumble.
Part 3: Exercise. Exercise is an excellent and well known anti-depressant. You will automatically feel better, be healthier, better looking, more confident, stronger and generally more alive (also, libido often improves with exercise). Start a walking routine or begin a muscle-building resistance program (Get a simple book on basic weight-lifting and buy some dumbbells to start.) Join a gym, but GO! (just joining alone won't achieve a thing). Join a sport. Jog. Jump rope. Join a martial arts program to develop both your body and spirit. Do pilates or yoga. Do jumping jacks and push ups. Sign up for step, kickfit, cycling, boot camp or boxing. Get a personal trainer. Join an outdoor hiking group, or just start hiking or biking. Follow a TV fitness show or get some fitness tapes (DVDs) or find these videos online.
Plan F (Fortify): Work on your Framework Of Reference & Terms -- your Depression F.O.R.T. Your F.O.R.T. is your primary "firewall" and defense against depression itself. It is your personal, mental refuge that you carry with you at all times, within your mind. It is the things you know that help you fight and avoid depression. Those things you can instantly recall to help you immediately deal with, deflect, avoid, lessen or eliminate depression.
The Framework of Reference & Terms include: the medical definitions and terms regarding depression, your own personal words and phrases that you use to refer to your depression, your mood and medication charting, depression books & sites, your triggers, escape strategies, and any mental, physical and/or spiritual tools you employ to quell this darkest of beasts.
You can also think of fortification as arming yourself now to lessen or eliminate the against what is happening now, and may or is known to recur. You may think of fortifying yourself as going out and buying those natural, over-the-counter antidepressant cures now, so you can take then now, and also have them for later.
Plan G (Go/Get): Get up & go! Busy your mind. Forget this depression. Do a simple task. Take a shower. Brush your teeth. Clean up or tidy up a bit. Sort something that needs sorting. Separate the junk mail from the important mail, or, open, glance at, and stack the most recent mails. Pay one bill. Clean a small part of one room. Box unused items, or unpack one unpacked box. Make your bed. Water flowers. Do an easy chore. Dust something. Rearrange an item of furniture.
But Go! Get Up! Get outside and get some sun. Go get some flowers. Get yourself something new. Treat yourself to something. Get something useful, or something you have been meaning to buy. Get some new clothes. Go online to shop. Blow a few bucks if it will help out with your blues (browns and even black moods). Charge some things. Splurge if it will help lessen the depression.
But get going! Go! Now! Go!
Plan H (Humor): Smile and laugh. Call a funny friend. Browse the internet for humor. Go to a stand-up comedy act. Go the library's humor section. Do something funny. Just laugh out loud. Do something goofy. Hear or tell a joke. Watch your favorite funny movie, or a new comedy you haven't yet seen. Think about your favorite comedian. Rent a stand-up comedy act like George Carlin, Howie Mandel, Eddie Murphy, Richard Pryor, etc. Listen to a stand-up comedy routine on CD or MP3.
Plan I (Imagination): Imagine yourself in your ideal situation. Escape. Escape into your own imagination. Read a book or see a movie if you feel particularly unimaginative. Read a romance, a science fiction or mystery novel. But remember to forget about here and imagine yourself there. Use this temporary escape if you need it. Imagine yourself with your ideal partner, having your ideal home, or your ideal life. Imagine having a million dollars. Imagine yourself being granted a wish by a genie -- what would you wish for?
Imagine yourself a the beach. Relax. Meditate. (see also Plan R (Relax) and Plan J (Jacobson Relaxation Technique), Plan M (Meditation)).
Relax, replay or invent a dream sequence. Do a small fantasy sequence in your mind that puts you outside of the depression and into your imagination.
Plan J (Jacobson Relaxation Technique) aka Progressive Muscle Relaxation. This technique with relax you and help you concentrate or relaxing rather than stressing out or being depressed. You basically stress and release the several groups of muscles (face, shoulders & neck, upper body, arm, abdominal and rectal, and leg, then, finally all of muscle groups at once. Just squeeze the seven groups as hard as comfortable and hold tight one muscle group at a time for about ten seconds, then let go and feel the automatic and natural response of the body, which is relaxation, for a full minute. Then continue to the next muscle group. After tensing the entire body (last "muscle group"), relax in a chair, or, preferably, bed, and concentrate on the relaxation feeling for ten to fifteen or more minutes. Try to stay relaxed and sink into the bed. Tense a particular muscle and relax if you feel this is necessary during the rest time.
This technique will show and teach you what it feels like for you to be relaxed, and will help you ease tension, and help alleviate depression, especially if done at least twice a day for several weeks. But you can start your first session immediately (ie: now).
Plan K (Keep Going): Keep Moving. Be strong. Keep your head up. Keep your chin up. Keep it up. Keep up the good stuff. Keep with it -- stick with it. Keep it together. Keep it tight. Don't lost it. Keep going -- to work, to school, to exercise, to meet people. Keep yourself alive. Keep assured. Keep safe. Keep being yourself. Keep up with what is important to you. Keep it simple, stupid (k.i.s.s.). Don't think about it too much. Don't drive yourself nuts. Keep moving. Stay together and get through it. Keep motivated. Keep going.
Plan L (Light:) Light therapy. Sunshine and light therapy is sometimes a miracle cure for depressives. The simple lack of sunlight will lower mood and effect a drowsy, lazy, fatigued or flat out depressed feeling. This is an ancient survival mechanism to keep us indoors and increase tolerate for cloudless or rainy days and seasons. Turn on all the lights, and sit close to a bright one. Get a reliable sun box (bright light light box), which mimics the light spectrum of the sun and only needs to be used for fifteen minutes or half and hour, and makes for an excellent reading and makeup lamp, and greatly reducing depression in some individuals. If it is light outside, just go outside! Sit in the sun for fifteen minutes, twice a day if possible. See also: go for a walk.
Plan M (Meditation): Meditation puts the mind in the Alpha wave state while remaining conscious. Alpha waves are usually only present in the first and second stages of sleep. Meditation is known to relax the body and bring about mental states of peace and bliss. To start, try Zen breath counting. Just concentrate on your breathing, your chest expanding and contracting, and relax all your muscles. It sometimes helps if you concentrate on the air passing through your nose. There are dozens of types of meditation techniques, so be sure to go with one you enjoy. If you do not enjoy your meditations and find them too tedious or unproductive, try a different one, or try it for just five to ten minutes.
Plan N (New): Try new and interesting cures. These include art, photo, music, color and pet therapy. You can do it yourself for now, and, if it works, work with a professional or get a book about it. These are new therapies especially tailored for anxiety and depression to relax the mood and lift the spirit by experiencing uplifting photo, color, and/or music. You can just browse the web for interesting, bright colors, scenic art and photos, and mp3s (most music is available on the internet for free if you know where to look). Pet therapy can be pretty instantly achieved for free by visiting a local pet store and just picking up some bunnies, puppies and kits. If you have an animal, pet it.
Plan O (Only +++): Think Positive. Think only positive thoughts. Concentrate on the neutrals or positives of life. Do not allow negative thinking. Think of the sun. Think of our vast universe. Think of space, of god, of flowers, of beaches, of rainy days and getaways. Try to remember better days. Remember things will change, and try to remind yourself of the positives. Smile. Remember those you love, and why. Think of the good times you had in the "ups" in your life -- forget the downs for now. Think only positive thoughts. See also: meditation.
Plan P (Purge): Let it out. Write it down. Sing it out. Paint or sketch it out. Be cathartic. Let it out artistically or creatively, and make it as dark or rageful as you like. Post about it. Call someone to bitch about it. Have a little pity party (you can think of Plan P as the pity party plan if it suits you). If you can, cry -- cry it out. Whale on a pillow or mattress. Just fking break something. Pound the floor. Yell. Whimper. Whisper. Talk about it or email about it. Go to Starbucks and tell a stranger about it. Call the suicide prevention line and bitch about life for a while. Go for a fast drive, bike ride, quick walk, jog or run to get it out physically. Blow off the steam, uncap the volcano for a while, get it off your chest, and voice it aloud.
Let it out, get it out, purge it out of yourself! Let it pour out. Let the pain out. Purge it out.
Plan Q (Quit): Quit thinking -- do not think. While depressed, everything you are going to be thinking and experiencing may currently be skewed to the negative. The future appears bleak, life seems wasted, skills and talents seem meaningless. You've lost your self esteem, and your inner voice is sounding very dark. None of these things are possible without thinking. Do not think about anything. This, of course, is difficult to do, and is basically a rather difficult form of meditation referred to as following the "middle" way -- neither inward (zen breath counting, chakra meditations, and those usually done with eyes closed) or outward (meditating on a visible object or scene). If all your thoughts are sending you spiraling downwards, shut them down. Shut them off. Quit thinking. Don't think. See also: meditation, think only positive thoughts.
Plan R (Relax): Get in some alone or "me" time. Work on an ongoing project, or spend some time with an old hobby. Go for a walk. Go to the park, or a shopping mall. Go get a coffee or take yourself out for some food. Watch a favorite movie. Go fishing. Go for a little drive. Do some yoga or stretching. Relax. Take a long bath. Dip in the pool, if possible. Sit in the sun. Listen to some music. Play some music. Sing. Be alone, and try to relax. Have a cig or a brew if necessary. Go out for a drink.
Plan S (Sleep): Sleep, rest, nap. Take a rest. Take a long nap. Oversleep. Sleep all day, if you have to. Relax and lay in bed. Catch some couch time with your television. Curl up somewhere and nap out. Shut the curtains and turn off the lights. If you have to, tape tinfoil to your windows to completely block out light. Take a natural sedative like Melatonin, or an prescription drug like Ambien or Xanax. Knock yourself out however you have to, if you absolutely must.
Plan T (Time): Wait, give it time. Wait for it to pass. It will go away. You can help it. It is temporary, even if it seems to last forever sometimes. With the right help, following this guide, and reaching out for help, you can get through it. But, for now. Wait. You might just need a day or two to pull through a severe and even suicidal phase. Just do what you have to (See Plan X), eat what you want to, sleep as long and often as you wish, drone out to the tv and just try to wait it out without doing any negative thinking (see plans A and B). Let father time and mother nature take care of it this time. Just chill out, relax and let some time go by. Just burn (waste) a few days if you have to. Take the time off -- it's real sick time and downtime. Depression is the #1 loss of employment time reason, so don't be afraid to use a few personal, sick or vacation days. It's a real and debilitating medical condition and you may need some time off every now and then.
Plan U (Understand): Try to understand and comprehend your depression. Remember that may be experiencing a physical or bio-chemical type of depression, where you simply can't think straight due to malfunctioning brain chemistry. It's akin to having a seizure, which is an electrical malfunction of the brain. That's it. That's your depression in a bag. It isn't anything more than that, if you suffer from the bio-physical (or bio-chemical) type. You aren't being punished by god or chased by demons. No one is posessing or haunting you and there is no spell or curse on you. In layman's terms, your brain chemistry is fucked up and you just need to know and understand that and understand that you need to be on medication to fix this type of depression -- no amount of psychology or talk therapy is going to work until you get your head screwed back on straight, understand?
Now if you have the psychological variety of depression, you don't necessarily need medication but you do need a psychologist or councelor to talk to. This is the type of depression that is closer to the depression "normal" people feel when hit by death, divorce, great loss, sudden change of life, birth, loss of job or home, abuse, violence, rape etc... Your depression may be caused by some kind of childhood trauma, or was "learned" as an emotional defense tactic from a parent.
Many people suffer from both physical and psychological depression, but understand what you are dealing with. Learn about it.
Get more involved in your battle with depression by arming yourself with useful knowledge about it. Read a story, book or article about it. Watch online videos from psychologists or psychiatrists regarding depression, cures, tips, ideas and news (new therapies/medications). Get yourself a depression workbook and try working with the exercises. Watch a documentary on it, or download some from the web. Read articles, news groups, forums and blogs regarding other people's feelings, situations, conditions and solutions. Check out some depression web sites. Investigating what you are up against may help you lift the depression by understanding it better.
Plan V (Vacation): Take a mini (or long) vacation. Go for a drive or a cruise. Get away from everything for a while. If your depression is situation, this is particularly effective. You cannot expect to be happy while living or experiencing constant negativity, coldness or downright rudeness or emotional attacks. You may be experiencing a regular reaction (ie: depression) due to to a shitty circumstance. Of course, a regular depression will be made even worse by an unsupportive enviornment, particularly if outwardly non-supportive and even hostile. Very often, "regular" people don't understand depression because they think everybody has the "normal" kind, which goes away eventually. This isn't always the case with depression, but, in either case, a getaway will do you some good. Change your perspective a bit and probalby help you relax. Get away for a while, especially if you know that is what you need.
Plan W (Wine): Wine & Spirits. Try a spirit if you are really down and need a bit of an escape. . It's pretty well known that wine, beer and alcohol can relax you and calm you down. Drink enough, and you can forget about life for a while. But be warned, alcohol *is* a depressant and will probably worsen your depression temporarily. [Alcoholics don't know they are worsening their condition because they drink daily, essentially masking or replacing the depression with alcohol and states of intoxication.] But alcohol may and usually will cause you to become slightly more depressed the next day, or even the day after (which I call the two-day effect, which I often personally experience). One to five drinks a week is probably ok, but do try to do it sparingly and admit you have a problem (called self-medication, in this case) if you are drinking 4, 5, 6 or more wines, beers or shots per day or are knowingly using it to escape how you feel or life itself.
Plan Y: Smoke. If you think it will help ease tension, or get you a temporary and kind of dirty endorphin boost, do it. Break down and buy a pack of cigarettes, or bum one off a stranger. Remember if you buy a pack, you are not obligated to smoke it all. I've been known to buy packs for just five cigarettes (and flush or chuck the rest), and sometimes even for a single cig.
Try a different kind of smoke like herbal, cigarillo (usually flavored), or even a cheap cigar.
If you have access to some pot, smoke some for sure. It is well known for alleviation of nausea, stress, pain, depression, irritability, anger, and works as a muscle and tension relaxant and is an excellent, instant relief for menstrual cramps. Call a few friends and see if anyone has any he can give as an emergency relief under the medical marijuana laws.
Plan X: Suicide Rite. This is a next-to-last step to take before you just have to seek emergency, professional help. Suicide rite can be invoked when a person is seriously contemplating, planning or exercising a suicide plan. At this point, just do what you need to so stay alive. Need a fking hit of pot or a rock? Do it. Need to get drunk off your ass, do it. Go to a bar and get blitzed, or grab that fifth of favorite. Gotta do a line or shoot up? Will that keep you alive till tomorrow? Then invoke suicide rite and go for it. Smoke and drink yourself silly. Knock yourself out with benzos and booze. Hit your drug of choice, light if you can, hard if you must. Just do whatever it takes to get you through the night.
Feeling that lonely and horny? Call up an old boyfriend, call girl/call guy, or your friendly neighborhood hoe. Whack off and get off if you have to.
Need go fking cut yourself? Will it be worth it to keep yourself alive? Wanna just feel something for a while?
Need to disappear for a day and not tell a fking soul where you disappeared to? Do it. Get a hotel room. Get away. Take a taxi if you have to.
Lock yourself in your apartment or room, shut off your cell and phones. Fk the world, and get your alone time for a while. Ditch work if you have to, and don't even call them about it. Disappear. Drive somewhere nice or just get in the car and keep driving for a few hours.
Plan Z: Get professional help, NOW. Call the suicide hotline they can direct you to a 24 hour emergency mental health facility. Get a friend to drive you if you need to, or take a taxi. Call 911 or go to the emergency room. Call the police, tell them you are a danger to yourself and ask them to take you to an emergency city or county mental health facility. Pick up the phone now. Browse the net for the number now. Do it now before it is too late. They say suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. Well, I'm here to tell you friend -- my brother (or sister) -- it's also a permanent solution to a permanent problem, which depressives think is the case while stuck in the depressive haze. Believe me, I know. I've been there. I've visited there a lot, and seem to end up there several times a year. But it's not permanent. It WILL PASS, but you need to get a handle it now, just for this moment. Just this time. You can deal the rest of your life and future episodes when they happen. You'll cross those bridges when you get to them, just concentrate on the bridge in front of you for now, and get your ass over it! It will be worth it. You're going to regret offing yourself, trust me. It's what every survivor of every suicide-by-fall (jump to your death) thinks as soon as they step off the edge: "Oh god, what have I done?! -- How do I get back!?" Keep with the plan. If nothing worked, call the experts -- you need some professional medical help, support and advice.
The Double-Digit Plans are Meant to be done with a partner.
Plan AA: Massage and touch therapy. Touch your partner. Try to get in as much stroking and skin contact as you can. Have your partner touch you all over, and stay with places where it feels nice. Get a book on massage, or look up massage online, and see how to massage each other. Massage gets rid of the toxin build-up in the body, and often the person feels intoxicated after a particularly good massage. Not only are they nice and loose, but their toxins have started moving around they feel funny.
Plan BB: Sex and intimacy. An obvious one, but, still, remember to research stuff online. Get a new toy. Try a different method, do role-playing or dress-up. Show affection. Do onto others what you want done onto you. And do it. Sex is really that simple -- do to your partner what you want done to you, and ask the same of them.
Plan CC: Socialize. Call a friend or go to a coffee shop with the intention of striking up a conversation or hitting on someone. Call someone from the local classifieds and get active on some internet dating sites. Join a local singles club. Join a club of any kind, such as Sierra club, which hosts constant events and is nationally available.
Plan DD: Talk to your loved one (even with a family member or close friend). Talk to a psychologist, counselor, or priest. Talk as a couple. Talk out your issues, your feelings, your dreads and fears. Get a reality check going and a good perspective on your situation. Get some well needed advice and couple therapy. Depression is not meant to be faced alone, nor is meant to be treated and "fixed" by your partner. Most likely, your partner is not a professional psychologist and little idea what you are dealing with, so start by describing the experience. Find a depression group and talk to people who understand the condition.